Day 7: Free Day & Reflection

   

  Today was a free day. Many caught up on laundry, worked on school work, took a quick trip to the beach, went shopping, or just hung out around the college. I chose to stay back and reflect on the week. 

My Reflections

    For me, this trip was never just about exploring and experiencing Greece. It was more about exploring and experiencing myself while in Greece. That includes every part and piece of me that wants to be seen and heard, even the not-so-comfortable ones. Each day, the places we visit, and the people we encounter, are full of moments. Moments that hold treasures far more precious than any ruby or jewel. Those moments are what help us discover and love who we truly are. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

   The Bema- Visiting where Paul was on trial was powerful. Not just because of the actual event that took place all of those years ago but because of the moment that a new friend and I shared on top of that elevated rostrum. We shared a sweet dialogue about our own struggles to speak up and in that moment we felt a presence and a glimmer of what it must have felt like for Paul. A few precious tears were shed as we both felt the gravity of it. It was so beautiful and a moment that will be hard to forget. 

    The Healing Springs- The springs were amazing to visit but the trips to and from the springs had the greatest impact. I began to notice something stirring within me as I shared my stories and heard others share theirs. I noticed a sense of becoming. Becoming more comfortable in my own skin as I explored the thoughts running through my mind. Who am I? Am I a wife? A mother? A friend? A student? Is just being me enough? I came to the conclusion that yes, yes it is!

Our being and presence are beyond what we can do. We tend to get so caught up in what we can do for others that we forget to explore who we are not what we can do. Who we really are lies within us. Beyond the surface and external world there is a mystical kingdom waiting to be discovered. That kingdom is the presence of self and the presence of God living within each of us. 

Becoming isn't easy. It is uncomfortable breaking past exterior shells and allowing yourself to be fully seen. To open up and let people see the real you beyond what you can "do" is a journey in itself.

 

Today- I woke up this morning in a whirlwind of emotions from dreams the night before. I spent my morning meditating and attempting to process all that has taken place thus far. As I sat with these emotions I felt uncomfortable and uneasy, similar to the way I felt experiencing the public bus ride we had to take the day before. So often when these uncomfortable things come up we try to compartmentalize, escape the uneasy feeling, and push it to the side. Which is something that I used to do far too often. 

But, I chose to do something a little different. I chose to sit in that uncomfortable feeling and see what it had to say. I allowed myself to feel uncomfortable and be okay with that. In the uncomfortable feeling, something was revealed, a trauma that needed to be healed. It was not easy sitting in that uncomfortable place, it made me nauseous and anxious. It caused me to question so many things about myself. It caused me to see something in myself that I didn't necessarily like. I wanted to escape the feeling and run away. But I am so thankful that I didn't. My eyes were opened to a desire deep within me that needed to be seen. 

This is what I asked for. This is the journey. I choose to take it all in and let it transform me and that is exactly what is happening. I can't wait to see what the next 2 weeks have in store for all of us.

~Anna Munn